I'm but a little boat

I'm but a little boat in a storm that just can't be anchored, I'm but a little bird without legs that simply cant land. These are all rubbish excuses rambled out in the lights of possible commitments, building a safety shield to camoflouge my weakness with an image of an egoistic rebellious wanderer. The fact is, I'm emotionally weak and needs tender loving care.

All my girls were different, and I would like to have loved everyone of them as individuals not influence by the previous. Here are some recollection, before i start to forget them as the years go by....

S - Childhood friend, seems like the best girl in my entire life till 21. I'll never know what could have been if only i persisted.......

J - Interesting... She was so much more dilligent in the relationship category that I almost felt silly.I guess she was lustful for me, amen I never got eaten by this fox. Hahaha! congrats to her new born! you are still pretty as a mom, no doubt about that...

K - Wrong wrong wrong... never loved her, never felt love..it was all lust, well 1 of the best ever but still lust without love is like drinking a can of warm coke. Sooo tiring, so bored, so troubled, worst time of me life. Cant imagine I allowed her into my private life... Wrong all so wrong!!

E - Lucky for me it happened so fast, I couldnt react in time. If we did get tgether long enough to see her evil-ness, my life would have turned upside down. She looked so innocent at first sight...then slowly things turned so ugly, for inside this cute little thing lies an evil dark princess! scary....

K - Raped

V - Never gave her a chance, great friends till this day but always asking the same old question..."why not her" hahah! She was just way over my league.. it would have been fun for a while but i'll lose a good friend.. Sorry.. it's well made decision not to start

N - Baby sister.. did i even love her before? an empty white paper for me to fill in the lines. Awesome experience for one who have never had a pure as snow relationship till then. I had a sweet time experiencing whatever i missed out during my teenage days, cool. Darn it! .. we simply couldn't communicate. It's like we are from different planets. God bless u r with someone from your planet now sista! Till we meet again.. live long and prosper~

J - College sweet heart, only love i knew thus far, thought she completed me. Was it my mistake or hers? She never came back from UK... never did. Rest was nothing but a whole load of wilfulness and stubborn ethics that hoped for the best which never came through... : (

J - A miraculous deja-vu. Felt so comfortable and felt so familiar. Guess we met at the right stage of our lives but wrong situation. I can see something about her that will satisfy my needs and wants in life. 1 step at a time... lets see what happens...

Jacky out for now....yawns... girls...........